It's currently a thursday night and I've done a little studying on the theology stuff for tomorrow's test. Debating also about whether or not I'd like to get up at 4:30 to go swimming at the pool tomorrow morning. Well, we'll see how it goes. I also should be getting up a little bit earlier to study some more becuz if i don't get a good grade on this one I'll certain get like a D in the class, which I NEVER do...and i'm not gonna start doing...i think my average GPA went down like significantly, last semester, just becuz i got a C...that really sucks.
Well, forget school for a second: I'm doing alright with the Lord...i'm trying to find those moments of like joy and happiness that i had with him...lost moments- of sporadic love of GOD> that I've completely missed having ...for a long time...and It's seems to be getting a little bit better...becuz I have to choose every day to sit down, before i leave the room, and say,...out loud "God, I surrender to you today, and I know that you are near...and i know you will never leave me....please Holy Spirit make me sensitve to your touch....so i can hear the Father speak."- You know..i never realized how much Jesus referred to God as His Father....and he also said "your Father", so it's like we can actualy referr to God as Father...and I don't do that enough. I wish i did it more. I am really needing God...just more everyday...and OH! Cool idea:- well, plan that God has for me this summer...a thing that i kinda hafta talk to Carla about, cuz she's gonna flip out i think, once i tell her I'm going away for a whole month in the summer. But Jonathan Smith talked to ME personally about going to the Salem YWAM base for this summer, serving, doing an internship there for the Niko that they do...like a team building excersize place, and they have a ropes course, and other outdoor activities which I WOULD LOVE. Not only that but a way to do ministry this summer to all sorts of people that will be coming through the base...man! to be on a YWAM base again!.....I hope and pray for that to also be a more intimate time with Jesus and learn more about Who he is, rather than what he can give me....i'm so selfish....deeper relationship with him. That's all I ask right now, cuz i can't think about anything else....

Oh, yeah, good news too! i'm going home for like 2 weeks, this summer, plane tickets were really cheap! and well, i'll be able to see Amber, Dad, Vickie, Tom and mom...I can't wait to go on an all around the town bike rides again, that was so much fun. and we'll be there for most of the Cherry Festival, and that was a blessing to find out! For real! and hmmm. What else.? I got a hold of mike and he said he'd like to see me, and take me out to lunch sometimes....I hope we go out on the water, cuz that's where i plan on spending most of my time...next to the water,...along the water, in the water...drinking water...smelling the water breezes, sailing in the water, possibly sea-doo'ing in the water....Everything is gonna be about water when i go home. Shoot. Home. Man, i get soo tempted, ofcourse, by the flesh, that wants to give up so easily- to just pick up everything and move back there,...but a really uneasy- unsettled feeling is in my stomach whenever i think about it...cuz IT's SOOO not the will of my Father...becuz He would put REAL peace in my heart if so....and i don't have it. Although i know how much I just can't stand being somewhere like EBC, when i have to walk by faith and NOT by sight- I can't jump ship just yet....well, i can never jump ship, or else I"ll drown and then i'll die....ofcourse we knows what that means...it means I'd be living without Christ...well, choosing to literally WALK AWAY from jesus...the lover of my soul....and I have told him I'd never do that to him, and I find him stretching me in that promise i made to him....just like in marriage.
welp, i need to get to bed at a resonable hour...so this is WAPRIL, northern Michigan's finest radio broadcasting network, thanks for tuning in, this is the sweet spring song signing off...good night,
sweet spring song
12:09 am