It's blog time folks. I dont' really know who i'm talking to...it's not like anyone ever reads this stuff....so, i don't know who I'm talking to! Myself I guess.
Well, i've had the song "If I were a Rich man" in my head all day long- as I was working at DQ.
And I'll be quitting there soon, I'm not sure what date exactly, but i will be.
I'll be starting school in two days...it feel weird. i just filled out a promissory note, for my school loan- saying that I'll pay them back, and ofcourse, it's kinda scary, cuz i really hope I end up with a good enough job where I CAN pay the school loans back. I'll go till I have a good job.---
*** I hung out with Desi today, and we got pizza and we watched The Burbs...that old movie, from the 80's! and then I also rented Benny and June! i love that movie. But i really need to get my journal done sometime. So, I was thinking i might do that instead of going to church tomorrow, ....ya know, sleep in, and wake up...have coffee and do my journal stuff....and just have a relaxing day. I think that would be great. So, i've been thinking abour work alot...cuz I know that God is reminding me that my time is nearing at Dairy Queen and that I'll leave with Joy,...the Joy of the Lord...and He will provide for me a different job. Also, I'm meeting with Judy Wilkerson for meetings so we can talk about the stuff I've been struggling with for my whole life and it's really good to finally have somebody to talk to about this kinda stuff, cuz I didn't wanna turn to Sharron, cuz I dont' think I shouldv'e...So, I feel at peace abotu talking to Judy. We talked about my childhood and other stuff like that...and it just seems like i'm digging up old hurts...like re-opening a wound and just seeing how bad it was again,...and it's horrible, but it seems like we have to go digging around in the old stinkin' stuff again just get me healed up.
And Judy gave me Psalm 23-- Which I will hopefully have in mind at all times..and just work through and dwell and meditate on....He leads me beside still waters and makes me ly down in green pastures....Oh..and she said that it's time for me to just take some time out...I've been on my own for so long, providing for myself...living every month on my own, and I just need a break, but not just from life, but for a moment of resting with God...For Him to just pour out His love in my heart all over again, so that FIRST LOVE experience can just come flooding back in....
What else ---oh,...she also said that she feels like maybe the Lord is preparing me for a relationship...and I almost cried with that one...but ofcourse, it's just her hearing---cuz ofcourse, it'll be a few years...before anything really happens. I dont' know everything about my life...only God does. But I give my heart fully to HIM everyday, and remind HIM that I am ONLY HIS for the taking...and reminding HIM that my love remains in HIM always...and will never leave---so, i think, in some way, by doing that am secretly shoo-ing away any man that He might bring my way, and I might just cower down and not know what to do if God would every bring a guy my way. I think i'm protecting myself that way. I'm in protection mode right now...not wanting to get hurt, or hurt anybody iin return
But my mind won't dwell on this: It will dwell on the things of the LORD and the perfect will He has made for me...and what LOVE HE has stored up for me....and healing that He wants to do. That's all I can really think abotu right now.
and i'm glad
gosh. i need some serious exercize.
I gained weight.
i haven't been to the rock slides yet and i'm dying to go! but nobody can come with me...
I'll be starting school pretty soon here, i'll be a busy girl.
I wanna be more in love with Jesus tomorrow than I was with Him today....
ad-infinum.
amen.
sweet spring song