since i think some things should be kept secret- i won't type what happened last night- but i will type that something happened.
and that something will never happen again, as long as i can stop it...
this is for testimoney purposes.
i can't.
i must stop somewhere.


"We were meant to live for so much more.
but we lost ourselves...
we want more than this world's got to offer.
we want more than the wars of our fathers...
everything inside
screams for second life!!!"
- switchfoot

"i don't mind standing everyday,
out on the corner in the pouring rain...
look for the girl with the broken smile,
ask her if she wants to stay awhile.."
- Maroon 5

I'm currently reading Every Woman's Battle - by Shannon Ethridge: it's really good so far.
kinda of revealing and insightful- but to a scary point.
a point i don't wanna face.
How does anyone know that they ready for a relationship??
HOW will i know that i am ready?
maybe- i think- when God finally brings HIM into my life- that MEANS i'm ready.
maybe He does thi- this waiting time- to MAKE me see that there's need in my life/heart for something. that i'm lacking. Until i have Jesus living in me- which I do right now- I am lacking with out him.
and that God created me for relationship.
1. Firstly for HIM
2. Then for others'.

man i get so confused sometimes- about if i'm doing the right thing, or if i'm at the right place, or if i am missing HIM.
i worry too.
about the end days...
i was taking a shower the other morning, waking up from some weird dream and a phrase just entered my head-
"There will be a great falling away"
and as i pondered this and the origin of this phrase...i was wondering if it really was the word of God.
and this scared me. cuz many will say they are apart of the body of Christ- but want everyone to accept their sin as 'alright'- or 'okay'- and i'm afraid. I don't wanna be one of those people.
i wanna kick the habit of sin..the disease of sin in my life.
i wanna be righteous ...
but WHAT IS ONE TO DO ----- when they can't fight on their own anymore..a.nd there's nobody in sight when you think yer slowly sinking down?
what am i to do?
when i think my life saver isn't there-
"someone throw me a rope,
woven with the rounds of history,
something i can believe in."
- 100 Portraits

creation groans, like in childbirth...
it's in waiting also.
i guess i'm not the only one...

i got plane tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for really stank cheap too!
for england...
and they're usually about 700-900 dollars- and i got em' for 468 dollars!
i was totally excited. autumn told me to buy them right there and i couldn't pass em' up. so i did.
WE'RE GOING TO ENGLAND THIS SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now it's final! i'm totally happy.
now we're factoring how much spending money we will need for everything- cuz Youth hostels will be about 500 dollars minimum! seriously expensive.

AND----
i found out that Brittany isn't Golden retriever- she's IRISH SETTER!
seriously!
she's totally beautiful!
i can't believe they didn't recognize that at the Vet's office! crazy loco people.
she's got a really red coat- and she's got longer tail hair and longer hair on her ears.
she MIGHT be mixed with a little golden, but not really.
i went out with Angie last night and did alright...not as bad as usual.
i was the DD for them.
ciao