suddenly so confused, so lost, so at a loss for words.
wishing i knew what to say. what to do. searching for a hope, in this spot of confusion.
so- i'm fasting and praying cuz i wanna hear from the Lord directly (and i'm desperate to hear His voice), and not just what my mind thinks is the Lord. But HIM. from HIM alone. I'm asking for the 4-step-guidlines to hearing the voice of God:
1. Wise Council
2. Divine encounters/circumstances
3. audible voice/written word
4. confirmations- through whatever means (which will equal peace in the end)

so- i shall do this till Monday- it is the ending day.
i had a blast hanging out with Joseph. I hope that we could hang out more, and do stuff together. like hiking, or backpacking, and fun outdoors stuff. that would rock.
points that i noticed while Joseph was here:
1. that he's gentle, considerate and honest
2. he wants to help in doing stuff- (like when i was making some pumpkin cheesecake- he did help with that!)
3. He's a cuddler- wants to be snuggly all the time, or hugged. (very-physical oriented)
4.he can do manly stuff! (like push cars outta snow! and fix wiper blades!)
5. We have a lot in common- like in our natures- how we are.
6. i hope that he gets baptised in the Holy spirit and has an encounter with the Holy Spirit so radically that he'd see all the things that God sees in him.

Gosh. i'm sooo hungry!
growl

i just called Sharron- it was a good talk ;)

i had a horrible dream last night.
for one, i was trying to figure out what i made on my check from the low-carb shop i think, and during that process, i was presented with people to marry.
and well, it was weird.
i just picked the most random person, becuz i thought i would never be happy anyways- i picked Danielle at work! she's a girl! YUCK! and she's like as old as my mom! So, we got married, and just like lived together, but i never talked to her, cuz we DON'T get along at all! and after a few weeks I REALLY wanted OUT of it- becuz it was sooo screwed up. and well, i was sitting in front of the pastor and stuff- and we were talking about divorce and he said that God hates divorce- but i was like "I'M MARRIED TO A GIRL! and she's OLD- like my MOM's age!" and well, i was freaked out, cuz it seemed like my pastor wasn't gonna let me get a divorce. and so i was sad.
becuz i made a mistake in the first place- becuz i married the first person that came along. without getting to know them or talk to them. it was a VERY weird dream.
never want a dream like that again :(
and i don't know if i should take that as a word from the Lord or not. becuz of somebody that is coming to visit me.
hmmm.
we'll see.
anyways. I'm still pretty excited. i just hope that Joseph stays safe on the road, driving here.- cuz it's like SOOO snowy! like we have a winter-storm warning right now! it took 30 minutes to get my van cleaned off and warmed up! and i fish-tailed 2 times driving to work today! it was scary! i seriously should get snow tires. it made me really wish for the winters of Oregon more! cuz i got sooo snowy and wet! yuck!
i had a good time last night- i made more soap and decorated the tree! it was such a blast!- we put lights up, ornaments, and tinsel. I don't think i've decorated a tree in years- for real. and for some weird reason, it felt like it was my tree, like it was my house, and like it was MY family, for a breif moment in time.
i feel like the Lord is telling me to be picky and specific when it comes to what i want in a husband, (becuz it could end up like my dream-if i'm not careful!) so, i will examine my heart and make sure i'm not settling for less than what God would have for me ;)
ciao for now,
the snowy princess !