it's so different. it's so weird.
this thing called life. this wonderful, absolutely confusing, radically changing thing....called life.
and sometimes, (i'm getting real here)- i wonder....WHAT WAS GOD THINKING?
the MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE- the KING OF KINGS! what was going on in his INFINATE WISDOM?
with the trinity sitting there together, in the collection of their perfectness, their ABSOLUTE LOVE (geez, i wonder what that's like..) ....could the thought approach- could that outrageously DARING THING approach their mind?
"let's take this love further"
"let's be a bit wild here,..."
"let's make MAN IN OUR IMAGE..."
"so, we might love him as much as we love eachother!"
- and possibly....
POSSIBLY
quite POSSIBLY......
*the man....HE....might love God back.*
*HE MIGHT LOVE GOD BACK*

that's a scary thought- MIGHT. you know?
we dont' get into relationship with other people- with the "maybe" or the "i might love you"....we dont' pursue those kinda relationship...becuz THEY CAN HURT US IN THE END.
we might have to step out there on a limb and LOVE REGARDLESS- everyone might have to do that.
AND THAT'S WHAT GOD DID.
he loved regardless...he loved with the the chance- that we have the right to run away from this perfect love, this amazing sweetness...this dripping honey comb of love...HE RISKED HIMSELF. he put his heart out there on a string for us to batter and beat-if we wanted.
but some choose to love him.
some choose, also to run away to other lovers, other weak forms of love, situations that MIGHT fill them for the moment, but only deliver an empty, parched well.

HE entered this relationship with the "might". HE's the one who walked up first and offered a smile, on that uneasy first day at a new school. HE sought me out first- being a hunter as he is. He hunted out my heart and won it.
he won it very well.
and i will choose to love Him. from hence forth.

oh- and i got a new car.
FOR REALS!
i still have the van! no worries. i just need another vehicle for the purpose to getting around in the winter here- the poor van was coughing everytime i would start him up! and then there's weird noises starting to develope. it was a scary situation. but i think the van is slowly dying. but i think he'll make it to Jersey, if we get him looked at before we leave.- then we can pack him out with all of my stuff...and then have walkie talkies when we drive to Jersey! how much fun! it's like going on a little adventure with somebody else! OH JOY!- It's a 1990 Toyota Camry- GREAT GAS MILEAGE!

the Lord truly blesses those who seek HIS face and put him first before anything else. not becuz they did something for him, and not becuz they themselves are "good" in a sense. BUT BECUZ HE IS GOOD. ALWAYS IS. WILL ALWAYS BE. becuz he is awesome. he is the sweet love of my soul.....
it makes me pause for a moment, and capture that certain feeling...that particular smell of the air, on the drive to the rock slides out in Oregon- we would pass fields of cows and of grass, and winding roads of peace, and gentle landscapes, that are being slowly butcherd to the world of "want". slowly breathing in the air over there, as i turn the wheel slightly to the left becuz my alignment is off...and glancing over to that barn-house with the big cylinder cone top, and breathing in the air again...turning the song up louder, becuz it's Enter the Worship Circle and i like their music.....
to breathe the air slowly....
to breathe life in slowly...
to breathe, and pause, and just breathe again....
becuz this life is unfolding before us, and we are on adventure
we need to live this adventure with the maker of our hearts, becuz he TRULY knows our hearts desire...the whispering thoughts, the waiting thoughts, those pressing thougths...of the future.
but relax,
and just breathe slowly.
it will come in time...and don't worry. you will have your adventure.