there was a high, white full moon rising yesturday- even as the sun itself was setting. I glanced up at it a few times, to capture it's errieness, as i was driving, shifting into overdrive.
theres something soooo calm and omnious about the moon. it's like a lone wanderer...trying to find a home for itself, but knowing that it never will, becuz it's true nature is to wander.
maybe it's trying to FIND a wanderer- to travel with it.
you never know.

Man!- it's been SUCH a long time since i typed in here, i miss it. just lately i've felt very dry of inspiration- very few God events in my life just yet....i'm attempting to approach the throne of grace everyday, in a very humbled way...and reaching out a shaking hand to my maker- maybe he shall extend mercy to this lost soul once again...I fear the day he doesn't...or refuses to- but is that even in his nature??
i think not- for my own sake

Well- good news, and kinda "bad" news- I'm trying to sell my car- that's the bad news...cuz i wanna get enough money to buy the VW VAN! that the Rathmells own- they are currently in Japan, serving the Lord, and their van is in PA- close to joseph. and if we got it, we'd pull it there- to his parents house, and then we'd start to restore it- (well, do the engine work-cuz it will need that eventually)- and i will clean out the inside! OHHHH happy day!
if you wanna check out the van- it's at this website:
http://www.rathmell.com/journey.html
and you will click on one of the days- and you will come to the bus! they took it on a road trip around america! my dream! oh! HOW MUCH i've wanted to do that! for soooolong! ...i thin that would be an AWESOME honeymoon!
travel to the grand Canyon!
rock on!
but alas, the van DOES need some engine work- cuz they said that the van will probably die soon, and it has a MAJOR oil leak- so that's bad. But, when i'm out visiting Joseph - (LEAVING TODAY! AT 9:00 PM!)- we were making plans to go out and see it- and pray about getting it- cuz this is something big...like we're both TOTALLY sure that is GOD...blessing the future with us and stuff- and not just that-but putting the whip cream and cherry ontop of a beautiful plan!
I'm totally happy....but praying for strength. to understand God's will and TIMING.
shesh. we humans are soooo weird. we overreact, we worry...we get scared.
i wanna trustin the Lord sooo much for the future- that my own natural reaction to get "scared" wont' take over! and worrying will have no place in me.
cuz dude-
weddings are SOOOO EXPENSIVE...and i have NO CLUE where we'd get that kinda money!.... i mean, we're not planning anything really extravagant or anything- simple wedding outside...whenever that date shall arise..and well, i just get worried...like we will never have enuf money to do somethng like that :(
i will shut up now- cuz just talking about it is making me worry.
anyways. i really should go study some more on my dental stuff.
ciao