PRAYER ANSWERED!
for real! i can't believe what the Lord has done- but at the same time, i think there's more coming. there's gonna be MORE prayers answered! and it excites me--- it makes me believe HIM for more!
Thank you PATRICK AND JC for keeping me in your prayers- for known brothers, and UNKNOWN brothers- in the LORD. i continually thank the Lord for hearing the prayers of those who care- and those that take TIME out of their days to lift up a little sumpthin' for a sister that is down and out- and fading....
but the Lord DID answer- and it's just AWESOME.

So- let me explain. You know, i was suppose to move out to jersey with my love- Joseph- so we could actually spend some real-quality time with eachother- and go to the same church, and just see how we are together- on a daily basis-- so, that didn't work out, becuz as he went driving away in his parents huge van- that remained empty- we were lacking confirmation with LORD- in providing for me a place to stay and finding out how much i would get for financial aid from Camden County College- but we didn't hear from either one (and this is what we were waiting on the Lord for). So, knowing that LORD confirms his plans- and we kinda put out the "sheep skin" so to speak, to know for SURE- we said: "LORD, if this is you, we pray that you would provide some place for me to live- AND be able to have Brittany AND be a cheap place to live"- so, since he didn't say yes to that- we were obediant, even though we BOTH really wanted me to move out there. I was even joking, that i would hide in the back of his van, covered up by a blanket, and he wouldn't notice me OR Brittany in the back seat, until he got to Penns. and he WOULD HAVE to take me to Jersey, cuz it would be too much to turn back around!!! HA HA! but, we both knew we had to be obediant to the Lord- no matter what WE wanted...we really needed to do what that LORD wanted! that was a hard thing to do. especially if you wanna be with the one you love.

SO- continuing on with the story: This woman called joseph 2 days ago now- and her name is Teri- and she said that she would like to talk to me about things- So, i called her yesturday, and we got to talking- She's got MS- and she's got a St. Bernard mix, and she's got a niece with my name, and she doesn't really NEED the money for rent, and she's really close to college....can i keep going??!! So, she explained to me that it would be alright to kinda trade off rent for doing things around the house- like cleaning, and like grocery shopping- and i was TOTALLY honest with her- and told her straight up- "You know, moving out to New Jersey- i will be starting from scratch all over again- and I'm gonna find a job as soon as i can when i get out there!"- so, she's all cool with that- and says that i can give her money whenever i want to! I dont' wanna be walking all over her grace towards me- so...i really DO wanna be paying her a set amount for rent- becuz that's just WAY too nice!.
With Brittany-she said that her dog- a St. bernard of all dogs!- is sooo old and lazy, that it doesn't really get up that much, and he would most likely be good with Brittany! so, that makes me really happy! ontop of that- Camden CC is like 20 mins. away- AND she lives basically in the backyard of Rowan University- which makes me think there will be JOB opportunities GALORE! and not just that- but places to take Brittany for walks.

I guess the room i would be able to have is pretty big too- it's almost ALL of the upstairs she said- cuz she can't get upstairs that much, with MS. So, i'll have my own bathroom, AND we'll be able to have dinner together- if it works out with our scheduals and stuff!

so, yesturday, i was praying- and i felt like that the Lord was saying "go"- cuz we waited. both Joseph and i waited- we didn't DO what WE wanted to do- but we waited on the Lord. that is sooo cool- cuz it's probably one of our first like "relationship with God together" things-- like developing a relationship with GOD together- as a couple. which makes me happy...cuz God wants to be in our relationship sooo much...and if we JUST YIELD to HIM it'll be enuf! I saw a sign on the outside of a church yesturday- i think Assemblies- and it said: "Smile! Jesus is enough!"--- he really is... and so much that i don't even know sometimes. I dont' know what he's gonna do tomorrow- but I know it'll be WITH HIM... i'll be with HIM...and that's enuf for me.

So- i'm planning on leaving...i think Friday- if the Lord confirms it...and maybe we'll have us pray over my little Toyota van- before we leave...cuz MAN...it's trying to hold on=- trying to make it to 300,000 miles! (cuz that's what i prayed the Lord would do- give me 300,000 out of it!) I drove it all the way across the country from Oregon- to Michigan, and now i'm headed to the east coast in it! AAAAAHHHHH! i hope it holds up...i think it will...if i don't press it too hard- take more breaks than the average car/truck/van...cuz it'll need a little rest i think!.

So, let me leave with this little word:
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is Jesus Christ, our Lord."!
- Romans 8:38
praise the Lord brothers and sisters....He is bigger than we think!

heya.
i'm kinda deciding to take a gasstation job again :( cuz it's the closest thing to dad's house, and it's 7.11 an hour. instead of the ridiculous 6.75 an hour to work at Target! what the heck is that!!!??? i'm not driving ALL the way to Traverse city to get paid just 6.75 an hour! yuck.

anyways- thanks patrick for the encouragement- it's nice to know that there's other brothers and sisters out there reading my mind (blogger)- and can say a little pray for me! I APPRECIATE IT MORE THAN YOU KNOW!

gas is up to 2.55! can you believe it! if i didn't live all the way out here in small-town Rapid city- i would ride my bike around everywhere in Traverse city..i think it'd be cool to live downtown somewhere- and just ride my bike places- cuz i have that basket-thingy on the back that i can put stuff in! and i would get more excersize- not that i'm not already- going swimming all the time and such.

I feel pretty mean. cuz yesturday my love called me- to talk on his LONG drive to work- and i was soooo not happy- i didn't talk at ALL...and i kept saying "I'm gonna let you go now, okay"- but then he kept asking me what was wrong- and ofcourse HE KNOWS WHAT'S WRONG....so, he asks' how he can help- and i'm like "you can't do anything!" unless ofcourse he can find me someplace to live and a GOOD job out here- he can't do anything. like i'm totally dependant on the Lord right now. and nobody can do anything FOR me...cuz they can't- NOBODY can just snap their fingers and provide a place to live for my dog and I- and NOBODY can just say "JOB"- and POOF there's a job in existance.

ugh. Vickie is yelling at the kids right now. i really wish i could find a cute little apartment/cottage to live in the woods. that i could have brittany, and a stream nearby- ohhhhhh dream on April :(

well, ciao ya'll.
i hope your days are better than mine.
tons of love from above.

Sad sad sad...all the way around. everything is just NOT working out for me right now...and i'm just totally down about it. kinda trustin' in the Lord- hoping that He will provide a JOB for me and a place to LIVE. Becuz i am currently JOBLESS and have no money and ontop of that, i'm living in my dad's backyard in my tent. i mean- i don't MIND living in a tent and all- i just wish i could have someplace stationary that i could walk around in and call my own :(
and ontop of that- dad and vickie SMOKE...so, it's just gross- i can't spend a whole lotta time inside the house...i am usually found outside, walking around the yard..or going swimming- or taking brittany for a walk. UGH. but there's just SOOO many times you can take a dog for a walk..a.nd SOOO many times you can go swimming.
I'M JUST SOOOO BORED.
vickie's always yelling at the kids cuz they always seem to be doing something wrong...i guess. and dad drinks too much. i think. ugh.
my life is staring me in the face and laughing i think.
right about now.
everything is just making me sad. even breathing! ugh.
can i complain anymore??
sorry ya'll for typing all this sadness.but i can't help it- i need to get out my real feelings..and if i hold them in any longer i'll either burst in tears or continue to be as sad as i am.

I need a job.
and i need a place to live- that is DOG friendly- cuz i have brittany.
dang. i wish i could snap my fingers and boom it'd be done.
ciao ya'll .