WOW. i feel like i haven't typed in forever.
well, not much has been going on. just taking 2 classes at school and looking forward to the summer. Well, looking forward to the BUS getting fixed up a little bit. it's in running condition, but ofcourse just needs a little work. and we're gonna go to VW shows when we finally get the van all registered and insured. WHICH we will do, when we visit HOME! YAY! We're gonna be going home for spring break and i'll get the bus registered and plated in Michigan- so we don't hafta go through the stinky hassel of doing that in New Jersey- they hafta "inspect" the vehicle first before you're allowed to register and plate it here. which is dumb. so, i'm not doing that here. ANYWAYS, getting a vehicle that has a new jersey license plate on it would make me feel like i'm REALLY LIVING HERE... which would stink. I really hope i move back to michigan after i graduate with my Associates in science degree with Dental Assisting.

SO, i'll post a bit later. i'm distracted with CSI. talk later.

Well. It's later, and now it's like 11:06 and i should be going to bed, but i wont for a while. i'm up and typing and wondering what is going on in the world. Man, things move at like warp speed. i swear, i was just in EBC a little bit ago, like in 2003- and greg waltz was convincing me to stay in Oregon, cuz i was meant to be there- and he felt that. Like i was suppose to be there. But i told him i am gonna be back. I knew i was gonna be back. i know i will be back. some day. like Oregon and me were meant to be or something.

"The more you know, the less you feel....Less is not just for those who kneel..."
- U2

Life is so strange sometimes. You wonder how people, like JC, Clayton, Joseph, Amber, Angie, Megan, Greg, Brandi, Josh, and The Guthmeister, and the Davis Boy, and Kare Bear, are...how these people are. How are they? I only know how a few of them are right now- and wish i knew how the rest of them were. I am scared to ask how some of them are. But, hoping they are alright. Hiking the mountains in Oregon. Mt. Pisgah...hopefully wandering the fresh waters of Michigan....
if i was there, you would find my foot prints there . seeing them, where the sand and water meet. Just where the water would touch my feet. even in February.

i was told today that i was the "sanest of us girls" Speaking of me and my sisters. Even though i disagree-- even though i feel like i'm the MOST screwed up. Of all of us girls. Seriously, I don't think i should say ANY of this...but i know the ONLY ones that know me, probably know this already- or know SOME of this....I was seriously screwed up as a kid. i broke down recently- in front of Joseph (my love) and i really expressed everything- what happened to me as a kid. i hate talking about it. but i was a moment of weakness and I get a little sensitive when i'm like that. I get sad and depressed when i'm like that. But, as he re-asssured me about WHO I am in Christ, WHAT I am to Christ- That Jesus still loves me, no matter what- that even though ALL that happened to me HE still loves me...and even still...as I am yet a "recovering sinner"- HE still loves me...

If i can say ANYTHING AT ALL in my lifetime, if i can share ANYTHING AT ALL to ANYBODY IN THE FAR FUTURE, it would be this simple suggestion:
Love, and be loved in return. Not matter your doubts, no matter your mistrust....

"We're One, but we're not the same, we get to carry eachother, carry eachother....ONE..... Have you come here forgiveness, have you come to raise the dead, have you come here to play Jesus to the Lepers in your head......you say LOVE is a temple, love the higher love
"we're one, but we're not the same..... you ask me to enter but then you make me crawl....and i can't keep holding on, to what you got, when all you got is hurt...."
"One life, with eachother, sisters and brothers.... we get to carry eachother, carry eachother..."
-U2 "One"

I know my use of U2 is UBER usage, but i can't help it- i need to use them in my blog today.

Humans are so funny. i think God has something in mind when He made us---- He created us for companionship, he created us for love...He created us for dependancy on eachother (and mainly himself)...diverse thought, complicated emotions, complicated lives.... to share with eachother.....

and it seems like EVERYONE is moving at warp speed. Both of my sisters, my mom, my dad....my own life. I don't know how to breath while everything is moving so fast around me. But, even YET I am still alive.
Still breathing.

- the sweet spring song