well, I'm really glad I got all that makeup off. Make up always made me feel cramped and tight and yucky.. i don't understand why girls wear it. i'm super glad I'm not like all the other girls. I'm glad I'm special, and I don't mean special ed. I've really been thinking about the world, and Revelations, and different scriptures God has been giving me...and i think He's in the midst of doing something...something BIG. and I can't really put my finger on it. it's like all the tears that all the intercessors have cried over this nation are finally gonna be poured out over the country, and there is gonna be a revival like never seen before. i wait for that day- where people will be havin' worship on the sidewalks, and people will be dancing and singing together...and the church would actually love each other. AH! the church. my hearts aches some times becuz my church seems so lost...either that or I'm so lost. I'm not in the right church, i think. I think I wanna leave this church, but every time, The Big Papa says no- i'm suppose to stay there for right now. So, i'll listen and wait, to see why, and what I'm suppose to be doing in the mean time.
I wish i had more personal friends....like in the church..nobody there knows me. and the friends that i Do have there don't even talk to me. i think they think I'm doin' my own thing now..goin' to Bible college and all...like I'm outta the loop, like they can't talk to me anymore? I wish somebody would really want to know me!....ah! i wish i could get to know other people more.
that's enuf from me about the church...i can't waste a whole journal entry on ranting and raving about an imperfect church, becuz I already know - there are imperfect people in the world, and yes, not every church is perfect.
my day was alright..i got to sleep in till like 9:30! oh that felt soooo good. but i need to get started on my paper, at least by friday and i gotta have the rest of my study guide for the Bio. exam done by fri. work was cool. i'm glad that Ben cleared that whole thing up about Jodi-, I wonder if He did it just so my mind wouldn't wander...starting to think that he likes somebody...i wonder if He still cares for me...like that. I don't know. I try not to think about that kinda stuff that much, cuz it gets me into trouble....I will just hold on to the promise God gave me. and leave it at that, cuz I know GOD won't go wrong...with what he has for me. He is sooo faithful, and trustworthy...I can hold onto whatever He's said, and know that He will fulfill it. Oh..i love God soooo much,...Jesus is the lover of my soul...and He's been sharin' so much love with me....
i think i'll end on that note..i want sleep...
the sweet spring song
1:20 am.