Here I am. it's 5:39 pm.

I woke up to snow this morning. And freezing the whole day, inside my little aparment, ofcourse spending my whole day on the computer because i have nothing else to. I talked to mom a couple of times, autumn once, and Michale. i hope he can come visit me. I have been reading a story about a guy hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, he's a bit younger...and he did it in 99- so, that's a bit more like what i want to read, although i did like George spearing's "Dances with Marmots"-- it was good, but he was an older dude. i wanna know what it'd be like if a yonger person did it...actually, finding a story about a woman who did it would be good too.
I am currently typing wearing my winter gloves, and hat, and hoodie of U of O. pretty well dressed, cuz it's stinkin' cold. I've drinken lot's of hot water, but that doesn't seem to curb my coldness.
I'm digging on this christian music station online,....gettin' down with the Lord to some of the songs...that i haven't heard in along time- and songs i've never heard! it's really good for me to listen to it.

we won't get heat until the 15th, in the apartments...cuz it's controlled by the school/thus, controlled by the government. I got to hang out with this teacher- i'll call him Juan, cuz i don't know how to say his name in english...but Juan and I talked about all sorts of things-- like God, and other religions, and governments, and marriage, and relationships, and love....all these things...it's weird. Here- if they don't get married by the age of at least 30- they just go ahead and marry whoever would work with them...like, whoever makes sense with them...If they fit together as a couple. Sometimes they don't even love the person.! that made me sad. But, he also said, that mostly, they marry becuz the man is trustworthy, dependable, capable of having a home...and so on, most of those are things that American's don't really look at anymore...as qualities to have in a marriage relationship. Most of the time, people just marry cuz the other person makes them feel good, or pleases them somehow...and that's selfish---marriage is probably the most unselfish thing a person could do.

I watched Braveheart the other day-- and it was beautiful how William Wallace loved his wife...well, that woman that he married.....and only after a day of being married, she dies, becuz England's guards killed her. Then his anger began. But mmmm. It made me think, of how chivalrous men can be sometimes...but not so much anymore. WE-as women- have somehow managed to make them think that we don't want that in a man, and so they form themselves to what they think we want as women. And then, men (or should I say, media?) have somehow managed to makes us women think that the only thing a guy wants is an unstable relationship, and ofcourse a skinny, not-average, looking girl, who ofcourse, is probably blond. he,he,he....! But, seriously, how true is this? Very. WE have been molded by our society as a young generation....who accept what the media gives us. Temporal satisfaction.....something that is fading. And we're suppose to be satisfied with it?? we're suppose to be satisfied with the slop that they give us and choke it down with a smile on our faces?? something in me rises up whenever I think of these things. It actually makes me think once again about Tom, and the days of abuse i had to endure as a child......the things i wrote then. the injustice that was done to me, but is buried forevermore, along with the body of Christ. But all that, I have let go. Now something else burns in me. To pursue, even though I don't see the end result....to continue on this path of faith, even though it seems like my steps are hidden from me.

SO, i might go visit Bill and Eva Glaser for thanksgiving hopefully. If I can get out there. I finally heard from Rebecka!! i've really wanted to hear from her. know how my van is doing. still working i hope! please Lord! well, if anything, i'd get a new vehicle...maybe a JEEP!! yes LORD! I'm all about a Jeep Wrangler!
well, that's it for now. I wouldn't mind going home. If that's your will Lord, I miss home, Sharron, everybody.....i miss the things I know are true---but i know you are strengthening me in faith through me being here....and all these things that aren't comfortable, i know they won't last for long, and I will see you eventually.
I'll hold on for now.
So, here I go, signing off--- wearing gloves and getting colder by teh minute!
sweet icy spring song!