I spent another 4 -5 hours in the hair salon, and my hair, after the 3rd attempt, finally curled! And i'm insisting it's becuz I said to use the blow dryer, instead of that stupid, red-light spinning around thing. yeah. i won't go into detail. Well, my hair looks beautiful. My name should be Bella! beauti-simo! really. i think i look really nice with my hair like this kinda curl...and i found out today that brases over here are only 2,000 yuan, which only equals about 200 dollars! Finally! i could get straight teeth! but the problem is...i will probably hafta have them on for longer than the 7 months i have left here, and i don't know if the doctors will continue to do the same work over in America...i would hafta switch to a different doct. over there, and that would be really expensive...too much for me. So, i will find out if i could do this within the months i'm here...hopefully! my bottom teeth could finally be aligned! speaking of teeth, i should get a cleaning soon!...

I just watched Bruce Almighty. and when i saw that the first time in the theaters...i really was touched. like today. i hate it how movies speak to me...like, i know God is speaking to me...through them. especialy that one. Cuz. well, he was sitting there complaining all the time to God about all sorts of things...and BOOM. he gets to be God for that one little city, for a measly 7 days! In this movie I saw how much of God i really want to know. Like, His goodness. His patience, His tenderness. His slowness to get angry, His Mercy. I want to know these things. I want to know them in Him first, and then I want to start seeing them in myself second. I don't know how i can get there....i just know for some reason, that it might take a long time! as for after the movie...i decided to take a shower....and i heard him say. "I see you, just how you are. I always have, I always will, until your dying old grey age. Your body isn't important, it's what you do with this life that is. You will get old, wrinkly, gray hair, and your sight will go, and other things will happen, but inside won't change. You will still be the same woman i brought into this world .... "---something like that. anyways. Just to think....He sees me, everyday. The whole time! and sometimes i run from that, but sometimes I cry becuz of that. He was there....even when i was hurting. He was there......period. and not just that. But He saw ME. He couldv'e said at any moment..."I see you" and that would be enough for me.
sometimes, over here in china. I feel somebody taller than me, standing next to me. I know there isn't physically. But i do know that there is spiritually. A tall somebody, that places His hand on my shoulder when I feel as though i'm going to cave in....He's tall enough to carry me! Strong enough to carry me. I remember that poem..."Footsteps" or whatever it's called. About the man who said, one day to God, in Heaven...that these footsteps in the sand were his walk with God, and then he asked God why there was only one set of steps sometimes (as if God left him alone to walk alone) and he said "Son, that is when I carried you."

MMMM.
i think i will leave with that note.
I'm suppose to be this way. i'm suppose to be how God created me to be....without sin ofcourse. i'm suppose to be April Melody.
the sweet spring song.