I'm still here. I need to get out though. I feel it every waking hour i spend here, that I MUST leave. Just like an emergency or something. I feel something creeping, sneeking up on me ...i don't know what it is. I feel i must leave and leave soon. There is no two ways about it.
I told David Li about it yesturday, and ofcourse he laid this big guilt trip on me....cuz they've done SOOO much for me, and i know they did. But i can't do anything about this. I really NEED TO LEAVE. Is there some sort of emergency, or reason that I must leave so quickly? But every moment I sit here, I know there is reason for me to leave. at night, i think of what would happen if somebody hunted me down. Like, if David Li were to bust down the door and threaten me, becuz they've done so much for me. Or if there are some people that he hired to spy on me. I think i have an overactive imagination. But i feel a presense i haven't felt before since being here.

I'm still waiting to find out if i can get a credit card. I mean, i applied for one online, i wonder how fast it takes.
Becuz if this takes longer than i should then i'm just flying myself home. Ofcourse David Li kinda pressured me, saying that this should be an easy thing for me to teach, and I"m like "Yeah, it should,but it's NOT" . School is different over in the USA. It's not like over here. And if I taught like I am teaching over here, over there in america, i know the students would be doing better. But they're not. I know they don't understand some of the stuff I say. and it's getting really annoying. I some what lose my patience. and I keep asking them what they would like to learn, or what they would like to do,...but they just sit there with blank faces on and dont' say anything.....AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG. it's really annoying. But anyways. I think of happy things to fill in the void. and the rest of this month, i will teach christmas stuff...if they understand it. and maybe we'll watch a movie.
I also think about what i'm gonna do when I get back. First, Job. Second, paying off things. Third, Orthodontist. Fourth, maybe go swimming. Ahhh. I think i'll set up a schedual for each week, what I will do when I get back. Plan each day. Wake up in the morning, make breakfast. Go for a hike up Mt. Pisgah, and pray and seek God's face about what to do now, and what His will is. Things change so rapidly. It's strange. I do feel though, i should go to Lane. No doubt about it. I am really excited about it, and i know that God's gifted me in the area of dinning stuff. Like, what would people like to have when they go out to a nice place to eat. On top of that, I could also be some sorta of recreation assistant. Like set up trips in camping, rafting, sking or whatever, scuba diving, (which I plan on taking classes when i get back to Eugene).
Yup. i think it will all be cool beans. I can't wait to see people again. I hope brandi has checked my email. I would love to live with her. Cuz I love living with Sharron, but it would rock to be in a house of woman that are in love with God. Cuz then we can have prayer times and stuff. bible studies. Well. I don't know. Whatever God wants me to do.
I've also been thinking about going to a deliverance center. Like, wherever there would be one. Cuz i think God wants to deliver me from some things...that I can't help myself be delivered from. I need some assistance. I need some professionals...that know what they're doing. That know how to do things. Cuz i don't. So, i will ask around. Possibly Desi's mom. She knows about this kinda stuff.
sweet spring song.