tis' currently Tuesday. And God created a way outta this place for me. I am so grateful...really very grateful. I wonder, if He knows now, how much i am falling apart inside. Or maybe he knew first, and it wasn't really a suprise for him. But, maybe he made this trip to China apart of my life, in that it was suppose to build my faith, and really rely on Him. I said it before, and i'll say it again: This trip was meant to either make me or break me. Break me from my faith in Jesus or strengthen it. I don't know what it did yet though. I guess i'll find out once i get back. But, i guess since i still believe in Jesus, then it didn't break me, but how come i feel like I am broken. Like, in peices on the ground of this Chinese world i'm currently living in.
I ask myself if i have failed God- like, did i do what He wanted? was I obediant? I kinda think so, but for some reason i feel like i'm still falling apart inside. I don't think this trip was meant to keep me together, as if I actually DID have it all together inside. But I think on a few things that it's showed me:
1. That God has really blessed me, by meeting my needs and physical things.
2. That life is more than food and drink
3. That success is doing the will of God
4. That I have SOOO many opportunities given to me, just becuz i was born in America and now i'll take those opportunities better.
5. The world is a BIG place and it's still an adventure set before my feet...and i hope for more better adventures with the ONE I love.
6. That I am a weak woman and I can do nothing apart from the Lord's hand
7. That simple acts of kindess are IN themselves a testimoney to Jesus, as long as you keep giving the glory to God, and keep yer eyes focused on the Lord.

And I think that's all i've really noticed so far.
But, i'm extremely happy to be going home.
I'm seriously looking into going to a deliverance place...just to get the thing that makes me weak OUT. cuz i can't battle the storm on my own anymore.
Ach.
I long for the green rolling hills of beautiful Oregon once again -- i long for the rain on my face and the cool air. I long for the green life again. A life where things are alive, and not dead. A life where i can breath freely. A place that I can call home...somewhere. AHHHH.
auf weidersehen.