I'm currently in the JC Library and diggin' on some Celtic music...on AccuRadio...it's a cool music station.
Anyways. I'm waiting for the tax returns to be deposited into my account...cuz I really need to be payin' off some things...And there's a BIG thing I"m doing right now.
I'm fasting. and I hope that God just holds me up through it all.
it's for 30 days. and I KNOW it's God who called me to this thing
Even Jesus said that "This kind of delieverance doesn't happen except by prayer and fasting"---in Matt 17 I think. and that I don't live on Bread alone but by everyword of God. I've been really convicted to do this fast thing for a while. But I passed a week before I really knew God wanted me to do it. For my own good. He's gonna deliever me from a major area in my life. and to prepare the way---just like John the Baptist---I'm fasting.
I'm on day 3 of my fast....and i'm slightly hungry. Last night was the tester and I just didn't think I'd make it. ....I had a Major headache and my belly hurt like nuthin' else. And around 11:00 I told God that I was gonna eat something by 11:30- if I didn't get to sleep soon-----and I held my little alarm clock in my hand and laid in bed with the fattest headache ever ...and just waiting for 11:30 to pass by....then eventually I put the alarm clock up and slowly drifted off to la-la land...cuz I did actually get to sleep.
My lower back was killin' me this morning. my bed sucks. I'm really tempted to just sleep on the floor, cuz my mattress is hurting me.
I drink V-8 juice, Cranberry Juice, and the Dr. Atikin's drinks---but those are only for a little while...and then i bought Slim fast mix cuz it has stuff in it--like things I need, and I'm popin' the vitamins like nobodys' business. I"m really trying to withstand eating something. CUZ ofcourse inside I'm thinking "What the heck! I'm gonna die before I reach the 30 day mark!" and I just thought of food all last night.
Anyways.
I gotta let this all go. Jesus is speaking to me. and I won't feel condemned if I really do eat something. But I'm not counting on eating something. But I know if I DO eat something--I WILL NOT FEEL CONDEMNED.
I'm gonna get delievered. I'm gonna see my Redeemer--I'm gonna meet my Savior. and He will Save me. He will be my Strong Tower...my Healer, My Love. He will be all these--He even told me He will be these for me. He will be Strong for me, when I'm totally helpless and weak...He will be that Strong Hand holding me up when I am gonna fall. I know all this is true. Cuz It's in the word of God- and that is Truth.
So----I'm getting stuff prepared for Lane.
I really should be going soon. I gotta call Lane, cuz I can't log onto my Financial Aid page, online---so I"m gonna call to see why.
Chow for now,
sweet spring song