currently,
should be studying even more for this test in Bio. But i just can't concentrate- and i'm like totally dead branied right now. there's really nothing more i can study.
Last night it was all just hitting me: the whole "life" question---like : what am i gonna do with my life?? What kinda job am I gonna get? Should i really be a Dental Assistant? Should I go for outdoor recreation? What should i do? I'm so stinkin' lost, i don't know what to do- sharron was trying to comfort me last night, before i went to bed (at a nice 9:45pm)- and she told me the story of Jessica- and how she found the most perfect job for herself and everything just worked together for those who love God/Jesus. I am kinda mad, at the same time sad- cuz i don't know WHAT THE HECK I'M GONNA DO! i need a JOB! like RIGHT NOW.
and i thought this time off of work would be like basking in the field of the Lord's pasture, but it's been like being put in a vice grip- and satan is tightening the pressure.
I can't escape it.
I'm worried. I don't have a job, and i need to be able to pay Sharron rent all summer long- along with my braces. I'm just worried. I hate this feeling. I wish i had like parents that supported me through my life- and they could help me out- but i've never been able to count on them for ANYTHING....they wont' even help out with my wedding--whenever that happens. It sucks having non-supportive parents...UGh.
I just got into this whole "woe-is-me" attitude last night, and i woke up without it...but now that i'm talking about it now...it's starting to creep up on me...no. Then i will stop talking about it.

I've thought about having a dinner-kinda thing over at sharron's house for Eddie/Alisa, Brandi/Zack, and Rachel and Greg and whoever else wants to come- i wanna make a pasta dish. I've been sooo into Italian food since watching "Under the Tuscan sun"- good movie.

Anyways, an exam awaits me in 10 minutes, so i must dash hither.
Ciao,
APes