can't remember last time i typed.
but i have news.
Brandi is already married.
and i'm not going to Oregon in the winter...i'm not gonna be in her wedding. i'm not gonna see her in a wedding dress...i'm not gonna see her wedding.
becuz it already happened.
i sigh inside. i am kinda sad about that. Becuz i missed it all! something inside me screams "I MISSED THE WHOLE THING!"
i need to make some new friends over here. I PRAY LORD THAT YOU WOULD SEND SOME GOOD CHRISTIAN BROTHERS AND SISTER'S MY WAY SO I COULD HAVE FELLOWSHIP.

but other than this. I'm gonna paint scriptures on my wall- verses the Lord gives me during this time. while i'm a loner.
i hung a picture of JC and i- and Autumn and I...and i'll hang that one with Brandi and i- on the wall, above my China hat. and of Josh and i...of all people- it's kinda weird...but i feel somewhat surrounded with friends, but just seeing these pictures on the wall in my bedroom.

i hate this. my feelings are so mixed all the time. i need an emotion stabalizer or something. or just something to fill my time...I spent some good time with Jesus last night and this mornig...woke up, put some 3rd Day on and played with the kitty and drank my coffee. I'm starting to read Revelations becuz if my mind set is finding the end of all things- i might as well read up on it. when i'll meet my Lord.
ciao for now.
apes

"it's a damp cold night, trying to figure out this life,
take me by the hand, take me somewhere new,
i don't know who you are....
but i'm with you,
i'm with you..."
- Avril Lavienge