i had a little quite time with Jesus- this morning...and the stuff i was writing- it really shined how desperate I was for Jesus. the groaning of this world- under the Tyranny of wanting something more. everything - every lonely heart- seeking love, every wandering soul, searching for purpose, every whispered sigh- it longs for the something more- but some don't know what the something more is- even Christians.
I think it is heaven. we long for that which we lost in the garden of eden---- i think i'm getting this from the book i just read- Journey of Desire.
But it's all true- and I'm feeling the truth of it all bearing down on me, knowing that i'm laying my head down, each night- just to wake up again in this world. Wishing i woke up in His presence.
But- i know that he lives in me. and i can take joy in that for now. I can rest in that. i can build my faith on that~ truth.

I got a really good email from Suhas- my Indian friend...hopefully someday we will meet- possibly if i go on a mission trip with my church out there- He was also talking about love stuff too. It's kind of hard to see all your friends getting married around you- and you haven't even come close to that yet! But, I'd like to think that I'm just a vine- in God's vineyard and the longer he waits and prunes me, and cuts away all those unwanted yucky strands (that don't produce much fruit)- that the more I'm getting refined, the more I'll be ready and beautiful for my husband. All the books I've read, all those "Single and loving it!" or "When God writes your love story"- and such...it's like they're apart of my blood stream now- I've pumped myself with these books- thinking that it'll somehow make me more wise when it comes to relationship- but naaaaa. Not really. I guess it just shows me i hafta be patient.- becuz i'm not the only one that has gone through this waiting, or enduring (as I like to put it!) or refining (as God likes to put it)

i really shall dash. i'm at work, and it's been busy, and i can continue reading my Mere Christianity book.
so ciao for now
apes