yesturday, when i was painting my room with scriptures- something hit me while i was doing it- and the Lord just broke me for a while....I started only at 2 words, and then, stepped back...: Of Psalm 40:1
"I waited....."
then i stared at it...that is a lesson in itself....i need to wait.
"intently" (or patiently-but i chose intently)
becuz this is exactly how i feel when i'm waiting for the Lord- intently, like a hopeless golden retriever, at the door of his master's house, awaiting his return...very intently.
"for the Lord"...
that's whom it wait for, his Return. the Return of the King.
"He inclined"..
this is where i broke down, cuz i just saw those words and knew ...that he bent over for me, he crouched down for me...stooped low, made himself less of ...he surrendered. It makes me think of the cross. totally.
"to me"....
of all people. like i deserve his attention.
"and heard "...
he is ever listening...and i love that. i know that he hears me. everything, he can hear everthing. every whisper is his to wrap his ear around.
"my cry."
becuz i cry sometimes, stirred by Him, with passions and desires mixed in the tears- for love, for purpose, for a light in the darkness, to come and rescue me. for something chivalrous that's left in this world to come and embrace me.

It was a great time, i'm glad that the Lord broke me, cuz i needed it. I needed him to just put his hand on my shoulder- just know that He (the stronger one) is nearby and ready to protect and guide me.
so- autumn and i are probably just gonna wander around England and Scotland next summer, i hafta go visit the little Border's after work, today maybe,. and look through their hostle books ..
and the cool thing- the friend that i made, while i was over in China- Alex Vinter.. (cool name) online that is- he is currently in New York, and i told him i was gonna go to England, and hopefully if he's there we'll hook up with him and he'll show us around. he's a great guy.
he called me while i was at work too! it was cool to hear his voice..i remember he called me once while i was in China, falling apart.- i talked to him about God stuff.
so, i begin classes tomorrow...so soon! ugh. it seems like summer just winked by...: oh, speaking of winking-
Sharron emailed me and said "remember things can change in a blink"- as in speaking about starting a relationship.
and i typed her back saying "i hope i blink soon".
"She willlllll be loved! She willll be loved!"
- marroon 5