a time for the LORD.
set me apart, let me know the intimacy of the holy spirit....and your breath on my face. you know what i prayed last night...

I watched "Passion of Christ" last night for the 2nd time in my life- maybe not the last? i don't know. and through the whole movie...in the end..i told Him, "I wanna do you right...i don't wanna keep hurting you like i do, i wanna be faithful, i wanna be closer to you.....i wanna be who you want me to be...keep me far from sin, help me to not crucify you once again."
MAN. it's just tough to know that i did that to Him. i killed my love.
and the part where the theives on the crosses on the sides of him- the one that asked Jesus to remember him when he gets to his kingdom...and Jesus promises him life...gosh that really broke me. cuz he said "Lord, this is what i deserve...i know that i'm getting my just punishment and i accept it, but could you just think of me when you get to your Kingdom? " it's like that thought alone would bring a person comfort- a dying person- comfort.

today, as i sit here- at the low-carb shop, i searched online for lyrics and Third Day came out with a new CD called "Wire" and i wanna check that out- looks like some good tunes and even a newer one has come out too. i love their music...i dont' love the band, they are not an idol to me (many of these new songs they're singing are about not being the focus in their concerts)
Jesus is Lord over all, no?
YES>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> : )

i gotta buckle down and do homework today BIG TIME
i called Sharron and talked to her about relationship stuff, cuz i think i might be interested in somebody---- but i'm not sure....gotta find out. wait on the Lord- you know, the same ole' stuff ya always gotta do. But it's a bit weird. i mean....there's so much anxious, nervousness, or something in me- like that....not bad stuff. Just deep thinking- like just learning:

1. How can two people, who have a relationship together- share a relationship with Jesus at the same time? Becuz they both have their own personal convictions that Jesus has shared with them, and other things along those lines- and how do you intertwine how you think Jesus is with somebody else's view of Jesus? and even though you both believe in the Bible as the ultimate truth and guideline for life- what of those 'smaller' convinctions that you have? Should they be pressed on the other individual as well?
*thought** maybe this is what Paul was talking about in Romans..or wherever it was...that a person can be divided on what to do...
I guess the conclusion that i came to was- (and i was talking to somebody about this)- that it really all boils down to humility in a relationship and "What is the most loving thing i should do right now?"---if everyone asked themselves that question when in an argument about something, or just personally reflecting about somebody--- they would be faced with the reality of what to do...in humility and self-less-ness.

*** You have to trust the other individual for their OWN relationship with Jesus.
I would have to- one day- trust enough in my husband, to KNOW that he will be continually in relationship with the Lord, growing, learning, receiving grace, just as I do... and i would have to trust that my husband would do that- cuz i can't MAKE him love Jesus! And i gotta trust him enough and have faith in him, that he will hear from the Lord on things in our marriage...just like he would have to trust in me that i would listen to the Lord and be a loving, patient wife....gosh..
that's a tall order..
but i'm sure it's worth it.
just like, if i went through the deep valley with the Lord again, i would KNOW that- in the end- IT'S WORTH IT.
what's worth it?
Jesus is worth it.
he's worth my breath, my very life....sigh.
my love.

So....these thoughts- along with thoughts of the ever-dreaded homework- have been on my mind. I better tend to the latter right now...
ciao